Dear Goodwill Zwelithini, king of the Zulus

Sir!

I don't want to waste your time because I believe you have far more important issues to attend to so I will get straight to the point.

Your official car is a big luxury saloon made in Germany.
The oil in your tank comes from Nigeria.
The expensive mobile phone you use to call your numerous wives (and the 14 year old girl you're currently courting) was made in China. Actually, 99% of the electronics found in your home come from China. Even more interesting, the stuff that makes your phone vibrate comes from Congo.
The copper found in all your electrical stuff comes from Zambia.
The expensive vodkas you love drinking come from Russia.
The Viagra you take is made in United Kingdom.
The expensive suits and shoes you love wearing are designed by some of the most famous homosexuals who all come from Europe.
Your coffee comes from Ethiopia.
The big private jet you love so much was made in United States Of America.
One of your wives comes from Swaziland.
The weaves and wigs your wives wear come from India and Brazil.
The rice and delicious spices you love in your food come from India.
The banks you deposit your money in are British.
The democracy you speak highly of is Greek.

My questions to you sir are:

1). Why-o-why do you complain like a bitch that your neighbour is an immigrant when all the things that you enjoy, love and cherish are designed and made by immigrants????
2). Who the fuck do you think you're kidding when you refer to immigrants as "lice destroying our country", when literally all your country's economy and infrastructure was designed, built and maintained by immigrants?!
3). Is it not true that your country was a hell hole (primarily because of YOUR primitive zulu tribe) before the arrival of immigrants???

You know, Goodwill, you are a worthless "king". You do things without thinking (it's known as lack of wisdom), and when you open your mouth, rubbish spews out (its called lack of leadership). You're not a wise leader. You're just as primitive as your subjects. You preside over a crappy worthless kingdom filled with illiterate, violent sex mad drunkards. I'm struggling to name just one good thing that has ever come out of your kingdom. Nothing! You're a national embarrassment, a continental joke and an international disgrace!

I spit on you, and your crown!

Kind Regards

Shebeen Herald